Monday, March 31, 2014
Chapter Three: Devastation, Part VII: January 2010
Please start reading my divorce memoir from the beginning.
January 17, 2010
I went to my friend Kathy’s house for a memorial for her father today after church. I didn’t have to put on a grieving face because I have been grieving for a long time now. Not just since last week or even since he came home from Texas. I’ve been grieving about my marriage for about thirty years. I’ve just never had the courage to do anything about it.
The service was very nice, right there in their home. Many good things were said about Kathy’s father. All her brothers and sisters were there. It was sort of like a testimony meeting. He lived with Kathy and Mitch at the end. They set up hospice right at their house for him and Kathy took care of him until he died.
I was the only non-relative there, so I felt honored to be asked to attend. I was glad nobody asked me where Jerry was because I had no idea where he was at that time. He said later he went to work. I don’t really care.
I decided I’m not going to tell Kathy right now, who has been my only confidante in my many crises with Jerry. She and Mitch are our best friends. We fellowshipped them into the church.
They’re going to be devastated.
When Jerry got home from wherever he was, I was sitting in the living room trying to read. I only go through the motions of turning the pages because I don’t think I’m able to concentrate on reading. I keep reading the same paragraph over and over. But I don’t know what to do with myself.
He walked in the front door, looked over at me and said, “What’s the matter with you? You’re all droopy and depressed.”
I blinked and my mouth fell open because I couldn’t believe he asked me that. I said, “Jerry, it’s only been a week. Eight days.”
He said, “When are you going to get over this? I told you, it’s done.”
I said, “I don’t know how long it will take, but it’s going to take longer than a week.”
He walked upstairs in a huff.
What is he thinking?